Emotional Abuse

I've been having a really rough couple of weeks physically. My arms, mostly my right which is my dominate has been in so much pain. My hands are almost always cold, and I can't get them warm unless it's in running water or up against a heating pad. The range of motion is lessening, even more so than last year and it scares the living hell out of me. The thought that I will not have use of my arms is terrifying. It's very hard for me to just not use my arms to just let them rest at my side. From using it for work, things around the house, daily actions or even my crafts or gardening--I use my arms. My husband tries to help me out a lot, but I am stubborn and independent and I don't like people to help. I love that they want to, and I do let them sometimes but I don't like feeling helpless.

I wake up stiff, in pain and I go to sleep the same way. Going to the gym helps some, to at least get my heartbeat up and my body moving, but I'm so limited on the machines I can use per my doctors and surgeons. If you looked at me, it would be hard to see the chronic pain I live with. I'm a happy, witty, fun person and my pain in general is not written across my face. When you live with chronic pain, you get to a point where you get used to it. It's not that it's any easier, it's just that to someone else this pain shooting through my neck, and arms would bring them to their knees, but I ride it at an 8 out of 10 all day, and I just get through it.

I wanted to share this poster I came across the other day. It's about emotional abuse. You can't have physical abuse without the emotional, they're inseparable. The wounds can heal from the physical abuse, but the words said stay in your mind sometimes forever. I can say that I've had four of these statements made to me, over and over and over again. Those words are hard to shake, even after all this time. If you've only been on the end of the verbal abuse, RUN, don't walk out of there and to the nearest women's clinic to get help. It will NOT get better; I know, first hand.