The truth is ever present; it sits on your chest, like a pig in hookershoes

Today I was at the mall returning some things, and doing some shopping as well. I stopped into the Body Shop to pick up my husbands favorite body washes. As I was putting everything in my bag, ( I carry my own bag around the mall to shave from the useless bags they put my stuff in) the cashier noted that they collect change to donate to WEAVE, a local non profit whose

mission is to bring an end to domestic violence and sexual assault in partnership with our community.

 

Last year my husband participated and came in 4th out of 600! He ran in high healed shoes-- a mile, to show solidarity to survivors and victims of sex assault and D.V. He is participating this year as well.

 

I had a whole .35 in change  so instead I threw in all the paper money I had, which was $17 dollars. I still have a hard time not getting choked up, the memories of those times still live inside of me. I can go months without coward entering my mind, the things he's done or said and sometimes all it takes is a scent, a phrase, a movie, something that triggers those dark times and I'm sucked back in. The other day is was a note sent to me by his first ex-girlfriend about our daughter, the one hooker shoes tried to convince him wasn't his. It caught me off guard the ex, reaching out, but it's not the first time she's left me email or comments, and I've said as much to the judge that his other two ex's collaborated the stories of D.V. Coward can try to pretend that it never happened, that he never did any of those things. That he didn't force his first girlfriend in circa 1985 to have an abortion, and then we buried a daughter three years later. The truth has a way of coming out, in the most interesting ways; mostly when you least expect it to.

Why is it so hard to see black and blue?

https://twitter.com/SalvationArmySA/status/573788726632935424

Why They Stay

It's in the spotlight, Domestic Abuse.

I have watched and read the victim shaming, people saying the same kind of insensitive, hurtful, idiotic statements that HookerShoe made.

D.V. happens to a lot of women, from all walks of life.

I can't imagine being proud to be married to such an awful man. I can't imagine what it will be like when his daughter learns what her father did over and over again to at LEAST three women. Then again I don't pour myself in too tight of clothes, pop my breast out in pretty much every thing, or coat my face in a ton of make up to just make a trip to Target. So I can't imagine a lot of what goes through HookerShoes head; I'm logical and rational and those are two things that are not her at all. My lawyers and her own family can attest to that. People like HookerShoes allow the monster to remain unaccountable. Shame on you.

Another person has come forward to share her story, thank you Meredith


Meredith Viera Explains, why she stayed

Au revoir!

I almost forgot that the time has passed for the ridiculous restraining order to end, that was only issued because Coward bald-faced lied to the commissioner saying I texted his stepdaughter on her phone. The lies have never stopped flowing from his mouth, not even now after all these years can he tell the truth. Quelle surprise!


After the whole debacle of the last court time it was right after my birthday and my husband took me to Paris for my birthday. Holy cow that man is amazing!  Those two years of French in high school allowed me to read a menu, and do little else. Ha.  But that trip and time with him did a lot to refuel my soul and set my compass towards the right direction. Now that this debacle is over, our wedding anniversary is approaching along with summer travel plans as well as friends/family coming to see us. I'm going to go spend time with my husband, son and stepchildren. I'm going to go back to Seattle where we haven't been since I flew up there to meet him 14 years ago. Then to Canada to see my friends and his family. First up, at the end of this month, a girls get-a-way to Yosemite with my best friend of 22 years along with my new BF here and they'll each bring a friend as well. Going to go see old friends & bosses while I'm there, and close the door on some old memories for sure.


There are some amazing things happening in my life right now, work is getting really busy. All that college has finally paid off and I'm working on getting healthier and trying to alleviate this physical pain.


revoir lâche et putain, vous savez tous les deux la vérité.

Chairty Run

I'm SO proud of my husband he ran on Sunday for a local Charity Race for "In her shoes" in my honor.

The premise is for men to walk a mile or in my husband's case RAN a mile in women's shoes to show support and to raise awareness of domestic violence & violence in our community.

He came in 4th out of 600!

http://www.walkamileinhershoes.org/

I love that man so much. I may have gone through hell and then some, but in the end I ended up with the most amazing man, husband, father, person.

Take a pill

Holy cow, or should I say holy hooker shoe wearing pig; it's been a long time since I've updated.

I have been incredibly sick since my last update, but I'm on the mend. Also I've been busy with spring break & summer trip planning, and my son's birthday to plan that I've been a little behind. All that time spent either at the doctors, hospital, labs, on the couch, in the bed...far too much time to do little except worry about my health and think about things like coward and his attention whore hooker shoe'd wife.

When I have a little more time, which I will after I finish up some big orders I will get back to this. Soon.

Emotional Abuse

I've been having a really rough couple of weeks physically. My arms, mostly my right which is my dominate has been in so much pain. My hands are almost always cold, and I can't get them warm unless it's in running water or up against a heating pad. The range of motion is lessening, even more so than last year and it scares the living hell out of me. The thought that I will not have use of my arms is terrifying. It's very hard for me to just not use my arms to just let them rest at my side. From using it for work, things around the house, daily actions or even my crafts or gardening--I use my arms. My husband tries to help me out a lot, but I am stubborn and independent and I don't like people to help. I love that they want to, and I do let them sometimes but I don't like feeling helpless.

I wake up stiff, in pain and I go to sleep the same way. Going to the gym helps some, to at least get my heartbeat up and my body moving, but I'm so limited on the machines I can use per my doctors and surgeons. If you looked at me, it would be hard to see the chronic pain I live with. I'm a happy, witty, fun person and my pain in general is not written across my face. When you live with chronic pain, you get to a point where you get used to it. It's not that it's any easier, it's just that to someone else this pain shooting through my neck, and arms would bring them to their knees, but I ride it at an 8 out of 10 all day, and I just get through it.

I wanted to share this poster I came across the other day. It's about emotional abuse. You can't have physical abuse without the emotional, they're inseparable. The wounds can heal from the physical abuse, but the words said stay in your mind sometimes forever. I can say that I've had four of these statements made to me, over and over and over again. Those words are hard to shake, even after all this time. If you've only been on the end of the verbal abuse, RUN, don't walk out of there and to the nearest women's clinic to get help. It will NOT get better; I know, first hand.