The Coward and Hooker Shoes Victimizing Women as a Team!

De’nile, it’s just not a river in Egypt; it’s alive and well in California.

Hooker Shoes, the wife of Coward, has come here to attack us all; and we get to get victimized all over again.

You just took 30 steps back for women’s rights.

Edit to add:

I will NOT publish anything either of them, Coward or Hooker Shoes, say on here. I am not that same young girl who feels like she needs to be kind and let people have a say. You, Hooker Shoes, are protecting a pervert, abuser; a monster who has left a trail of destruction. You are co-dependent. I'm not the one living with a man who desired my child, beat women, had sex with minors, cheated, lied, bullied, and so many awesome wonderful things.




Read, "Why does he do that."

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656/ref=cm_lmf_tit_4#_

And,  The Verbally Abusive Relationship
http://www.amazon.com/The-Verbally-Abusive-Relationship-recognize/dp/1440504636/ref=pd_sim_b_4

Coward, Your Wounds are a reminder

I feel like I have a scab that I’ve been picking at, these stories that we’ve all shared have opened up this woman’s old wounds. Physically I still bear those wounds, as they are a constant reminder of him, and what he did to me. It’s like that saying, “Everywhere I go, there I am. “ In this instance insert, HE is.

 Doing some research to find answers to what and why it happened, I came across this. I’ve linked to it so that you may see the whole page.

I had therapy years ago to try and deal with him, and honestly I think I had put him mostly behind me. Until, my body started failing me, and the pain that had been there for some time, got worse. When I was asked over and over  again, HOW every did you get your spine like this? Did you fall from a cliff, car accident (NEVER have, heck I've never even gotten a ticket) when I opened up about my past there was a look of, "ah now I understand why you are in this condition." Then the scab started itching, and I scratched-- then the memories that I've tried to push down came rushing back in. I read the questions below of , "does your partner, " and I was surprised myself, how almost all the responses where YES.

 

Why does domestic violence happen?

 Contrary to popular belief, domestic violence is not caused by stress, mental illness, alcohol, or drugs. The only true cause of domestic violence are the abusers’ choices to act violently and control their intimate partners.

 How do I know if I’m being abused?

 Does your partner –

 

• hit, punch, slap, kick, shove, strangle, or bite you? (Yes Multiple times, I've lost count.) Should add choke, he loved to slam me up against the wall by the throat.)

• threaten to hurt you or your children? Yes

• threaten to hurt friends or family members? (Yes)

• have sudden outbursts of anger or rage? (YES!)

• behave in an overly protective manner? (Yes)

• become jealous without reason? (yes)

• prevent you from seeing family or friends? (yes)

• prevent you from going where you want, when you want, with whomever you want, without repercussions? (Yes)

• prevent you from working or attending school or force you to work in jobs not of your choosing? (Yes forced me to quit, because it took away from HIM time.)

• destroy personal property or sentimental items? (Oh god, so many things ruined by him.)

• deny you access to family assets, such as bank accounts, credit cards, or car? (YES)

• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Yes)

• force you to have sex against your will or force you to engage in sexual acts you do not enjoy? ( so many times. When there are tears running down your face, it was NOT consensual asshole!)

• use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children? ( his favorite thing to do, intimated everyone around us.)

• humiliate or embarrass you in front of others? (Oh god, so many times. At restaurants, shopping, movies, on the phone with his brother or friends)

• abuse or threaten to abuse pets? Yes..and he did hurt them.  Kicked their little cat bodies and threw them too. God a monster.

• withhold medication or deny you access to health care? I want to say Yes, but there are details I don't want to share here.

 

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be abused. You are not alone. You are not to blame. Help is available. Domestic violence is a crime.

 

For help, call 716-558-SAFE (7233).

 

 

 

Enabling, it has GOT to stop

I wanted to share the inspiration for displaying Coward’s picture as a warning to others. The inspiration came from Chris Brown, well an incident that happened to him recently. When his latest CD's was shipped to the stores they came with a warning sticker on the front stating, "Warning, do not buy this album, this man beats women." Hence, my own warning.

I know that there are family members of Coward reading this, and I'm sorry if you had to find out this way. I don't know, maybe you knew all along? Maybe you'll make excuses for him, because of his upbringing, or who knows why? I do know that if you do just that, you're just enabling him and you're an enabler as well. I know all about this, because I was just that myself once. When I didn't report him, when I kept his secrets, when I befriended him after the break up, and sugar coated everything to myself and other's I was enabling him. I am disgusted and ashamed at THAT behavior. I know that I was the victim of his emotional and physical abuse, honestly the emotional abuse is the part that haunts the victims the longest. I know that he will excuse away his behavior, he's always done that. "You made brownies with frosting, it's your fault I threw the pan at your head." I don't like frosting on brownies, so it's your fault for doing something so dastardly. I know it's freaking insane when I say these things out loud now, because it WAS insane what he did to me, and others. This example is so tame, but he honest- to -god threw a pan of brownies at my head because there was frosting on them. I had to clean it up of course, because gah, it was my fault after all. It took me YEARS to eat a brownie because of this.

Maybe you're trying to search inside for the goodness in him. I know there are good moments, and things he's done that aren't all bad. Maybe you're clinging to those thoughts when you think about what he's done. His actions, what he's done to countless women, physically and mentally, having sex with minors. Any good he's done, cannot stand up to the wrong he's committed. When you try to think of the good things he's done like, taking little Lola to church every week. Aw, how sweet helping this little girl out. Then you find out that he's sleeping with Lola just a couple of years later. you think to yourself, was he plotting this all along, was he desiring a child? I don't know if she was of age when they slept together, I think it might be VERY close. It doesn't change the fact that he was sexual with someone whom he mentored and whom he knew was simple minded, as in not fully grasping how the world works, kind of young woman.

I know what it's like to be saddened that someone who is your own flesh and blood be something you're not proud of, or in this case ashamed. You cannot choose your family, you can only choose your friends and partners.

Watching your own life on screen

The other day I got caught up on the DVR and watched SVU one of my favorite shows. This one hit entirely too close to home. I‘m sure it was directed at the singer Rihanna and her boyfriend Chris Brown; as It was about domestic violence. In 2009 Rihanna was beat up by Chris Brown, before the Grammy award show. It was documented all over the media, and she broke up with him. Recently she rekindled her relationship with him, hence the nod towards them both with this episode. In the episode after the faux Rihanna is beat up by her boyfriend, she is angry at first but like so many victims, forgives him, and takes him back. The character is 19, young and naive and she thinks he’s changed his abusive ways. She of course thinks she's really in love with him, and doesn't see anything because her emotions are clouded.  Sadly she finds out just how right the D.A whom wanted to press charges, was, because she. the faux Rihanna ends up dead.

I obviously am alive therefore not entirely like the episode, but there are victims of Coward, two babies who are not alive because of him. I was so upset after watching this, that I couldn't fall asleep that night. I tossed and turned and no amount of holding from my husband or trying to talk it out was helping. I just was so angry at my once upon a time, 19 year old self for staying with that asshole. I hate when I play that woulda, coulda, shoulda, game in my head. I beat myself up because I tried to be friends with him, to even possibly get back together with him. GAH, I was freak’n insane! Ok, not insane but clearly not thinking things through. I know that I was doing what many victims have and will do, but when it’s my own self that has acted out in this matter it’s different.

I want to say I’m saddened, and joyful at the same time that I have been contacted by many of his ex’s. I know that I am not alone, and that we all have been hurt by him. I wish I could guarantee that it would never happen to another person. I want to find a way to put a stop to this monster, legally of course.  I’m not suggesting violence, rather by legal means. I will ask that if you know anyone that knows him, send them the link to this page, so that we can all be sure to share the truth about Coward.