Coward & Nigella Lawson's Husband are two peas in a pod, just across the pond from each other

  

I love Nigella Lawson. I have her cookbooks; have watched her shows and have admired her fiery, no holds barred approach to life and cooking. Over the weekend there were pictures of her husband of 10 years  and herself, in an argument where it  eventually escalated to him putting his hands around her throat. Nigella Lawson is an highly educated, extremely successful woman. I know people are asking themselves how could this happen to her? It happened, because domestic violence happens everywhere. Seeing the picture of the hands of Nigella's husbands wrapped around her throat, made me get a lump in mine. It brought back memories of Coward slamming me against the wall hands on my neck and pushing his arms against my collar bone. It brought back memories of him holding my arms down while we were at restaurants so he could belittle me, make me listen to his crazy incoherent rants and I had to stop and listen--there was no escape. Just like the incident with Nigella where noone said anything but instead watched, no one offered any me help either. Not for a minute do I believe the load of bullshit from Nigella's husband, with his statement that the pictures look worse than it really are, it was just a little argument-he said. He is an abuser-period. Just imagine what happens BEHIND closed doors. I do, I know exactly what does/did--because I've been in her shoes.

I was with Coward for nearly 10 years myself, and the question people asked when I told them what happened me is..HOW? How could that happen to you, you're a happy, intelligent, educated woman; this is the kind of thing that happens to ghetto, uneducated, seven kids from six daddies kind of thing. No, this can happen to anyone. I can only imagine what Nigella is thinking and going through. I'm sure she is embarrassed, mad, angry, ashamed, humiliated and so many other things. But the one things she needs to feel is love, love from those of us who have been there. She needs to feel love from those who would never be ok with a man doing this, and that place NO blame on her whatsoever. It is not your fault, no matter if you argued back, like I have. It's not your fault because of something you did, or didn't do or whatever goddamn excuses he gives you for his justification of his actions. You and your children deserve better. I'm rooting for you Nigella and all others in her shoes.